We don’t stay invisible because we lack talent. We stay invisible because, at some point, it felt safer.

And that belief—staying small keeps me safe—is one of the most dangerous lies high-achieving women carry.

What if the very thing you’re avoiding is the key to your freedom?

That question sits at the heart of my recent conversation on The Empowered Women Life Leaders Podcast with Karen Bashford. This episode wasn’t about polishing a personal brand or celebrating professional milestones as you might assume. It was about truth. And for the first time on a podcast, I spoke publicly about an experience from my teenage years that profoundly shaped my life. 

Surviving a Serial Killer

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The Conversation Beneath the Titles

My professional journey often sounds impressive on paper: flight attendant, student, corporate leader, academic educator, entrepreneur…

But titles are convenient masks. They allow us to be admired without being known.

What Karen created in this conversation was something rare: a space where the story beneath the titles could breathe without sensationalism, without pressure, without performance. A space defined by safety, compassion, and integrity. And in that space, I shared a truth that had lived quietly inside me for decades.

When Trauma Teaches You to Disappear

At seventeen, I survived a violent attack. A serial killer was operating at the time. I was the one who could escape. Survival, however, is not the same as safety.

The trauma didn’t end that night. It settled into my nervous system. It shaped how I moved through the world. How visible I allowed myself to be. How much space I believed I was entitled to occupy.

For a long time, my body learned one lesson very well:

Stay quiet. Stay small. Don’t draw attention.

Trauma doesn’t always shout. Often, it whispers. It whispers through perfectionism. Through people-pleasing. Through overachievement in environments that under-value you.

And from the outside, it can look like success.

The Cost of “Looking Successful”

External success does not equal internal fulfilment.

I did everything right. I performed. I excelled. I collected credentials, roles, responsibilities. Yet internally, there was a quiet fracture. A split between who I was and who I was allowed to be. One part of me wanted to live boldly. The other part believed visibility was dangerous. That inner conflict is exhausting. And many high-achieving women live there for years, sometimes decades.

“You can climb very high while still hiding.”

The Moment Everything Changed

Healing didn’t arrive as a single breakthrough. It arrived as a decision. A clear, uncompromising internal boundary:

No more. Not “do better.” Not “try harder.” But no more living a life that looks impressive and feels empty.

I didn’t want to impress people from behind a title anymore. I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to matter beyond my function.

And that moment marked the beginning of a profound shift:

  • From invisibility to visibility
  • From managing an identity to expressing one
  • From survival to self-authorship

Why Entrepreneurship Became Part of the Healing

Entrepreneurship wasn’t only a career move. It was an act of reclamation. Because systems—however prestigious—often reward conformity over truth.

Entrepreneurship forced me to meet myself without the armour: Not the résumé. Not the role. Not the institution. But the woman behind all of it.

Alignment isn’t a luxury. It’s a leadership requirement.

From Pain to Purpose (Without Romanticizing Trauma)

I’m careful when I say this:

My pain became my purpose.

Not because trauma is a gift. Not because suffering is necessary. But because unprocessed pain will always express itself, either as limitation or as leadership. When integrated, it becomes wisdom. That wisdom now informs everything I do.

I work with leaders who are successful by every external measure, yet feel unseen, constrained, or disconnected from who they truly are.

I recognise them instantly. Because I’ve been there.

The Real Work of Visibility

Visibility is not performance. It’s alignment. True visibility doesn’t ask you to become louder. It asks you to become truer.

That’s why branding—whether personal, leadership, or business—is never just about marketing. It’s about becoming.

When who you are and how you show up finally match, leadership becomes inevitable.

Leadership Truths (The Truth Most Women Aren’t Told)

  • Trauma often disguises itself as ambition. Overachievement can be a coping strategy, not a calling.
  • Success without self-connection is still a form of hiding.
  • You don’t heal by becoming someone new. You heal by reclaiming who you were before you learned to disappear.
  • Visibility is not ego. It’s integrity.
  • Your scars don’t define you, but they do inform your leadership when integrated consciously.
  • Branding is not self-promotion. It’s self-expression rooted in alignment.

Why This Conversation Matters Now

We are living in a time where many women are waking up to a quiet dissatisfaction. They’ve done what was expected. They’ve achieved what was praised. Yet something feels misaligned. This episode is for those women. For the ones who sense there is more but don’t yet know how to access it.

You don’t need to become visible to be worthy. You become visible because you already are.

I’m deeply grateful to Karen Bashford for holding this conversation with such care. True leadership is not about extracting stories; it’s about stewarding them responsibly. This episode was created with respect for complexity, for healing, for truth. And if even one person feels seen, strengthened, or encouraged to step out of hiding because of it, then sharing my story was worth it.

If this resonated, don’t just listen. Reflect. Because the question isn’t whether you’re capable of more. The question is whether you’re willing to be seen.

 

If this resonated and you’re ready to deepen your visibility. Explore:

Your becoming isn’t a destination. It’s the strategy the world has been waiting for you to embody.

 

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